Poor Latvia

Old Latvian proverb say “Is better to have potato and lose than never have potato.”

Of course is silly. No Latvian have potato in first place.

One day Latvian man see friend drink potato juice.

“How you get potato juice? It cost much money,” he say.

Friend say “This not potato juice, is just urine.”

Latvian comedian say “What deal with potato?”

Latvian crowd not laugh.

Comedian squint into darkness, to see audience.

There is no crowd. All die from malnourish.

Latvian girl say, “I want go America one day.”

Father say, “I send you America.”

Daughter is thank father. Make tears of happy. Father use to salt potato.

Father think moment, say, “Daughter, I no send you America.”

Potato needed more salt.

One day Latvian boy say to father “Father, I have found good fortune for I have learn myself to read!”

Father say to son “How am I having such wonderful news? You will get job and make us many money to buy potato!”

Then boy die in night from cholera.

All are sad.

Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son’s body.

Can only take two across river at one time.

If leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad.

Also is not good boat.

Why Latvians never play game hot potato?

Is silly, potato never hot.

Also, no potato.

Latvian woman is give birth to baby.

Doctor is say “I have the good and the bad news. The bad news is the baby deformed, head is look like potato”.

Woman is say “what is good news?”.

Doctor is say “Put baby in boiling water, is eat, and family is no hungry for one more day”.

The mother is nods quietly.

Latvian walk into bar with mule.

Bartender say, “Why so long face?”

Latvian say, “I was thinking of daughter. She has been lie with soldiers for potato feed baby.

Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder.

Bartender say, “That look delicious!”

But pig say, “No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog.”